God's Presence

"Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him." Isaiah 64:4

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:4

These two verses were in my Bible study today and touched me deep down in the depth of my heart and my mind. God's Peace was the subject of today's study and I'm overwhelmed at how Jesus said "my peace I leave with you." It makes no sense to be unemployed for 6 months and be at TOTAL peace. It makes no sense that when my checking account AND savings account reached about $100 together, that I was FINE. Did I let people know, yes, but I trusted that GOD would be the provider because no one I'm close to has any money! And the one source I would have never expected to provide ~ did. That was God's provision! Only He can move the hearts of men!!!!

But the peace I know is so much deeper and more expansive than just financial. I'm actually enjoying the work God has me doing while I wait for the job He wants me to do. I'm enjoying my days even though they are FULL!!! I had no idea how I would fill a day if I didn't work and these last few months, God has shown me how quickly HE can fill a day! I'm loving it and while I'm ready to go to a job, I will SO MISS THIS TIME!!!! I wish I could have enjoyed it more and longer but alas, there was a period of physical, emotional, and spiritual rest that had to take place. Now that I'm at a place of enjoying this time, a job may be coming soon! But it's a job I think I would enjoy, at a place I think I would enjoy. SO, I wait.

But in the wait, what peace and joy exist right now. What fun to spend an hour in the morning with the Lord and then have time to write e-mails, clean up some, talk with a friend or 2, make a list of things to do, then check off from the bigger to do list for the week what will be done today. what a joyful time this is to work at things that I love and with or for people I love with control of my time belonging only to God. I'll miss this time! It reminds me of my life in Colorado.

For those first few years in Colorado, there was a great deal of struggle. So many things were distractions and my own understanding of who God created me to be was at a place of confussion. Then, God changed me. It was slow but it was good! As my value no longer was tied to my work or how others viewed me. My peace came from doing the job God gave me and doing it well. My joy came from being alone - because I was never completely alone, I always had Jesus there. How sweet the times at Praise Mountain were as I met alone with my God and He loved on me. I remember telling the Lord as my time in Colorado came to a close, I will miss these times even though they have been hard. I say the same of this struggle.

Bless the Lord oh my soul, for He is good to me when I do not deserve it! He is faithful to me when I can not see it. He is kind to me, when kindness is what I need and yet may not deserve. He is always at work in me, through me and around me - Open the eyes of my heart Lord that I may see You and all the work You are doing. Change my heart Lord that it will NEVER again be satisfied with anything this world has to offer and it will not seek anything in this world but will long more for You. Keep me in Your presence, even if it means keeping me in hard situations. Give me physical and emotional strength through Your Peace, Your Joy and Your Presence. Keep before me the sweetness of Your Presence and make me super sensitive to when I grieve You through sin of my thoughts, word or deed.

May the God of all REAL Peace bless any who read this blog with HIMSELF today.