Since writing last night about disappointment and being alone again in the job, the Lord has come to give me a little insight. One thing He impressed upon me is that when I left Colorado I was sad to think about how my time alone with Him was so sweet because He was all I had. Then as I was thinking about how I would respond when I get the question, which I'm asked whenever a decision has been made and I'm informed of it, 'is that ok?' - I've asked Jesus to do the responding. That if I'm to be Jesus on this campus, then even my human disappointment must come under His authority. So, Jesus come and respond however you want. Jesus, use this time that I'll be alone on the job to do some things in me and through me.
Take this great disappointment that things aren't turning out the way I thought they would and make something beautiful and glorifying to God the Father out of it. Take the tears I shed over it not turning out the way I thought it would be and turn them into laughter that comes from the depth of joy in YOU. Mold me using this situation. Thank you for this opportunity to turn to You again. This did not catch you by surprise and You have a plan - please sir, would you show me the plan and give me some direction.
Blessed is the name of the Lord Our God - the Creator of Heaven & Earth. Who can know your plans, for your ways are higher than my ways and your thoughts are not my thoughts...make my thoughts like yours!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Alone Again?
What a disappointment I had today! I LOVE my new job. I've been there a month and I'm enjoying the work and the people. Then today my boss tells me that he is going to spend most of his time in a different building and a different office. The disappointment is that it puts me working alone - again! Just like when I was at Montrex and spent most days by myself. The big difference this time is that I won't have any freedom in that alone time because it's not my family's business!
So I've been really feeling the disappointment. It's not like I want my boss around all the time by any means but from what I understand, it will be more like he's never around. We'll conduct all our business over the phone or by e-mail. And that leads me to ask the question...so God what is this all about?
Oh, I know my boss has some personality things going on and that this is not about me in any form or fashion. He did the same thing with the previous secretary. But what is this going to be about as far as God's plan? Why would I be in another job where I'll be spending 95-98% of my time alone? My first thought is Colorado. Only instead of going home to be alone, I'll be alone at work. But I also am spending a lot more time alone at home as well, so what's that about?
This is one big puzzle - I KNOW that God has a plan but I can not see it. I know HIS plans are more advanced than any man's thoughts or plans. He has placed me in this place for a reason so, what's that reason. With all the jobs I looked at, one of my greatest concerns was being alone in an office again - and here I am! Oh I know, there are some people down the hall and there will be a few people who bring me things but I've found that for the most part, when I'm alone in the office, I'm ALONE in the office.
OK, the plan - spend some time with Jesus and see if He won't give me some insight or a plan to do this again - and to do it in an even more hostile environment than I've been in before.
Somehow, just laying it all out like this has helped to lift some of the disappointment. Yep, I'm doing better - not because of anything magical about typing this out but because I know that Jesus has the plan and seeing that in black and white makes it even more powerful. Stay tuned and see what Jesus has to reveal in this situation! :)
So I've been really feeling the disappointment. It's not like I want my boss around all the time by any means but from what I understand, it will be more like he's never around. We'll conduct all our business over the phone or by e-mail. And that leads me to ask the question...so God what is this all about?
Oh, I know my boss has some personality things going on and that this is not about me in any form or fashion. He did the same thing with the previous secretary. But what is this going to be about as far as God's plan? Why would I be in another job where I'll be spending 95-98% of my time alone? My first thought is Colorado. Only instead of going home to be alone, I'll be alone at work. But I also am spending a lot more time alone at home as well, so what's that about?
This is one big puzzle - I KNOW that God has a plan but I can not see it. I know HIS plans are more advanced than any man's thoughts or plans. He has placed me in this place for a reason so, what's that reason. With all the jobs I looked at, one of my greatest concerns was being alone in an office again - and here I am! Oh I know, there are some people down the hall and there will be a few people who bring me things but I've found that for the most part, when I'm alone in the office, I'm ALONE in the office.
OK, the plan - spend some time with Jesus and see if He won't give me some insight or a plan to do this again - and to do it in an even more hostile environment than I've been in before.
Somehow, just laying it all out like this has helped to lift some of the disappointment. Yep, I'm doing better - not because of anything magical about typing this out but because I know that Jesus has the plan and seeing that in black and white makes it even more powerful. Stay tuned and see what Jesus has to reveal in this situation! :)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Turning 50
Today, I turned 50! I have so been looking forward to 50 ~ it is my year of jubliee! After the past year, actually, past several years, I'm ready for some jubliee!
What a gift God gave me first thing this a.m. - I take Snickers out and the golden leaves are raining down in my front yard. It was so beautiful to watch so many leaves all falling gently to the ground! The crisp fall air and the beautiful sun rise reflecting off the golden leaves.
Lunch with my dad - such a wonderful time for just me and him! We just chatted and it was pleasant - no stress at all!
Then tonight, my dear sister, has a limo pick me up and it is FULL of my dearest gift of all - my friends! We laughed and laughed. My first time in a limo and I must say - it was a TREAT!
As I reflect upon the dear faces that sat around the table I'm so amazed at the grace and mercy of God. To have such precious friends, ladies that I love to spend time with! Women of God who have braved the battles of life, laughed together and cried together. Women who bring a smile to my face when I just think of them.
Yes, 50 is fine! No mid-life crisis - all though I think I'm past mid-life anyway, but no crisis. How can there be regrets when I have so many blessings. How can getting older be bad when you have so many people to love? How can 50 be bad when God is so AMAZING! No regrets, only praise for the one who has given me more than I could have ever asked for or even imagined. A family that I LOVE more with each day. Friends to share life. God you are so good to me...forgive me for the times I let the everyday steal the joy of knowing you! Thank you for 50 amazing years and for whatever time you want me to have here on earth. Thank you God for the gift of my life!
What a gift God gave me first thing this a.m. - I take Snickers out and the golden leaves are raining down in my front yard. It was so beautiful to watch so many leaves all falling gently to the ground! The crisp fall air and the beautiful sun rise reflecting off the golden leaves.
Lunch with my dad - such a wonderful time for just me and him! We just chatted and it was pleasant - no stress at all!
Then tonight, my dear sister, has a limo pick me up and it is FULL of my dearest gift of all - my friends! We laughed and laughed. My first time in a limo and I must say - it was a TREAT!
As I reflect upon the dear faces that sat around the table I'm so amazed at the grace and mercy of God. To have such precious friends, ladies that I love to spend time with! Women of God who have braved the battles of life, laughed together and cried together. Women who bring a smile to my face when I just think of them.
Yes, 50 is fine! No mid-life crisis - all though I think I'm past mid-life anyway, but no crisis. How can there be regrets when I have so many blessings. How can getting older be bad when you have so many people to love? How can 50 be bad when God is so AMAZING! No regrets, only praise for the one who has given me more than I could have ever asked for or even imagined. A family that I LOVE more with each day. Friends to share life. God you are so good to me...forgive me for the times I let the everyday steal the joy of knowing you! Thank you for 50 amazing years and for whatever time you want me to have here on earth. Thank you God for the gift of my life!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Elections & God's Will
As I was praying this morning about the election, I asked for God's will to be done. I know what my opinion of what I wanted that to be, because it would make my life more secure and less frightening.
Then tonight I was working on my Bible study and it was on learning through suffering. It all got my thoughts going with how I just hate to suffer. I'm such a spoiled American. I don't really know what suffering for my faith is all about. Even when I have suffered loss or difficult circumstances, it has not been like others who suffer TRUE hunger, loss of home, a family killed in an explosion, or the fear to walk the streets.
I know this, it is God's Will that Christ returns for the church one day. Perhaps, the events that have taken place today are necessary for that part of His will to happen. This I KNOW, God loves all men and desires none to be lost. God promised Jesus would return. God's will being done on this earth is my heart's cry. Nothing that happens is a surprise to God. So, in these days of uncertainty I choose to thank God that He works all things together for good and I commit to pray for my leaders and my country ~ more now than before!
Then tonight I was working on my Bible study and it was on learning through suffering. It all got my thoughts going with how I just hate to suffer. I'm such a spoiled American. I don't really know what suffering for my faith is all about. Even when I have suffered loss or difficult circumstances, it has not been like others who suffer TRUE hunger, loss of home, a family killed in an explosion, or the fear to walk the streets.
I know this, it is God's Will that Christ returns for the church one day. Perhaps, the events that have taken place today are necessary for that part of His will to happen. This I KNOW, God loves all men and desires none to be lost. God promised Jesus would return. God's will being done on this earth is my heart's cry. Nothing that happens is a surprise to God. So, in these days of uncertainty I choose to thank God that He works all things together for good and I commit to pray for my leaders and my country ~ more now than before!
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